Bad Fish and Good Farts (with Ellie Dvorkin Dunn and Julia Granacki)

It's the very first episode of our brand new podcast! Co-hosts Ellie and Julia decide to save the guests' experiences for future episodes and instead, share their own bizarre medical encounters with each other. Even though they have been friends for 30 years, they each manage to tell a story that the other has never heard! If you've ever had inexplicable back pain or eaten mysteriously spicy tuna, this one is for you. 

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Transcript

[Ellie] (0:09 - 0:16)Welcome to Open Up and Say Ha! Stories from Underneath the Paper Gown. I'm your co-host, Ellie Dvorkin Dunn.

[Julia] (0:16 - 0:27)
And I'm your other co-host, Julia Granacki. We are so excited to be here for our first episode and we thought we'd begin by giving you a quick rundown of why we decided to start this new podcast. Yes!

[Ellie] (0:27 - 1:00)

Okay, so for those of you who are coming to us from our other podcast, Circling the Drain, you might remember that some of our best moments of hilarity happened when our guests shared stories of their weird encounters with doctors or their medical mishaps or their biological functions. Always funny. We had the best time during those moments because they genuinely made us laugh.

 And we realized that this was because, like, stuff that happens to our bodies is universal. Yeah. Everyone lives in a body.

 
Do they? They do.

[Speaker 1] (1:00 - 1:01)

Everyone lives in a body. Everyone lives in a body.

[Ellie] (1:02 - 1:23)

I mean, I believe, like, unless you're going to get, like, on some other plane and talk about ghosts. And that's not what we're here for. That's not what this is about.

No. What we're talking about, what this is about. That's not it, right?

Yeah. So, you know, it's just like, if we can all talk about this and, like, be public about it and be comfortable about it, maybe it'll just, you know, break down barriers and bring us closer together as, like, a human race. Do you know what I mean?

[Speaker 1] (1:24 - 1:33)

Wow. Yeah, you made that sound really lofty. I don't...

I did. I mean, like, wow. Yes, we're bringing...

Calm your tits. That's basically what I'm saying.

[Ellie] (1:33 - 1:33)

Yes.

[Speaker 1] (1:33 - 1:57)

We realized there wasn't enough laughter in our lives, and this might be a way to generate some more of it. So in future episodes, we will bring you guests who share their stories of weird bodily stuff that may or may not involve medical professionals, but we're going to dedicate this episode to our own stories because we know, or at least we've heard, that you like to hear from us. So we're going to start with that.

We are. We are. My hair is just...

Who wants to... Oh, are you shedding?

[Speaker 2] (1:58 - 2:15)

My God. I mean, like, I could make a carpet, Ellie. Well, me too.

I just... When the shuns... When the shunsigns...

When the sun shines in my apartment, it sheds light on the shedding. Like, I can see how much of my hair is carpeting the hardwood floor, and it's gross. So I'm going to vacuum after this.

[Speaker 1] (2:18 - 2:34)

I'm on the minoxidil. Since we're talking about medical... I started the minoxidil, but it's going to be a while before it starts to actually work.

But I'll report back later because this show is about, like, medical shit. Yeah. Maybe in several episodes, I'll have something good to say about it.

[Speaker 2] (2:35 - 3:22)

All right. Shall I tell my story first, or would you like to tell your story first? You tell your story first.

First, first, first. What's it called? My story is called, The Diagnosis Is In.

I love it. Okay. So my whole young life, I had back pain.

Really starting, like, high school. I started to get these severe muscle spasms where I just, like, I couldn't move my neck. I couldn't turn it left or right without wincing in pain.

I'd have to go to the nurse's office, call my mother. She'd pick me up, take me to a chiropractor. Hold on, because of your neck?

Because of your neck? Neck slash back. Like, it would travel.

Oh.

[Speaker 1] (3:22 - 3:23)

It was neck.

[Speaker 2] (3:23 - 6:48)

It would, like, travel down my back. It was bad. It was bad.

And I would just be completely stiff and frozen, and I'd go to the chiropractor. They'd try, you know, all manner of modalities, whatever you want to call them, to try to help me. Maybe it would help a little bit.

It would take a few days, and then I'd be, like, back in business. I never really let it stop me. Like, I was a dancer in high school.

I was an actor. I wasn't, like, home laying flat for days at a time, but it was really, really bad, and it happened consistently. And I remember very clearly one of my visits to the chiropractor, like, I had been many, many times, and he was kind of a young guy, and he looked at me, and I was, like, 16 or 17, and he said, Ellie, why do you think this keeps happening?

And I said, I'm just really stressed out. And he kind of, like, I can see now as an adult looking back on the story, he kind of, like, had an eye twinkle and suppressed a smile, or he didn't want to laugh at me, but he was like, Ellie, like, you really need to figure this out. Like, you really need to learn to manage this, because if you think you're so stressed out now, like, when real adult life hits you, what are you going to do?

How are you going to, you know, move through the world? You can't have this, but, like, you and I both know being told don't stress, calm down, is not helpful. Like, I think that now parents have a lot more language.

Like, my parents probably should have taken me to a therapist. I probably, you know, I know now that I have generalized anxiety disorder. I was wired for anxiety, and it was manifesting itself in my body, but we didn't do that.

We just kept taking me to the chiropractor. I then went to college, and it continued happening. Again, it didn't stop me from anything, but I was kind of an adult now, so they would prescribe me, like, muscle relaxers, like Flexeril and Soma, and you know, you were one of my, like, druggie theater friends.

I was not a druggie theater person. Because you gave me Soma. You were like, anybody with a Soma, and I was like, give me the Soma.

Because they fucking didn't do anything for me except put me to sleep, so I would just hand it out to my friends, and they would be like, I'm going on a Soma holiday. Like, I'm having, like, a party, and they would all, like, party on my muscle relaxers while I was like, I gotta go to sleep in the other room. And painkillers, like, nothing, nothing helped.

But I just sort of continued to deal. I just dealt. I would just, like, like, I would get x-rays, and my spine looked like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Like, it was very real spasms that were pulling me out of alignment, but there was no bulging disc. There was no slipped disc. There was no diagnosis that was anything other than your back is in severe spasm, okay?

So, cut to, I've now graduated college, and I've moved to New York City. And I'm living in New York City with my boyfriend at the time and two other guy friends. One morning, I wake up.

Now, they're all very familiar with my back pain. They've all, like, took, like, a part of me, right? Yeah.

I wake up one morning. My boyfriend's already gone to his day job. Other roommate is gone somewhere else.

It was just our friend David and me at home. We hadn't left for work yet or something. And I don't know.

Something happened, and all of a sudden, I doubled over. Like, I was bent in half. This was a completely different kind of back pain than I had ever had.

This was not my uge, okay? Right.

[Speaker 1] (6:49 - 7:09)

So, I scream out in pain. If I could say, like, Ellie, I've known you a really long time. Yeah.

I have never known this about you. Really? I have never known this about you.

And as a Pilates person, like, I'm sitting here very quietly keeping my mouth shut. Okay. But, like, I cannot believe that you didn't know this.

I didn't know this about you.

[Speaker 2] (7:09 - 7:16)

I guess I hid it, really. I mean, you said you remember taking my soma. Yeah, but I didn't know why you had soma.

[Speaker 1] (7:16 - 7:21)

I wasn't, you know. I mean, fuck. For all I knew, I don't know.

[Speaker 2] (7:21 - 7:22)

That was a long time ago.

[Speaker 1] (7:22 - 7:24)

It was a very job-based... Totally.

[Speaker 2] (7:24 - 7:30)

Totally. We were also all very self-involved. Like, we were college theater majors.

Like, this is just how it... It's all about me.

[Speaker 1] (7:31 - 7:32)

Anyway, you're doubled over. You're screaming.

[Speaker 2] (7:33 - 8:13)

Sorry. This is where we are. I'm doubled over, and I'm moaning.

And David comes running in, and I'm like, I cannot stand up. Like, I can't get vertical. And he's like, okay.

And he tries to, like, give me Advil. We try ice. We try heat.

Like, I cannot stand the fuck up. I am bent, like, in a 90-degree angle. Listeners, viewers, this is before Google.

This is before texting. This is, like, the year 1999 or something, okay? It was the 1900s, people.

It was the 1900s. He gets on the landline, and he calls my mother, my father, my parents, and he's like...

[Speaker 1] (8:13 - 8:15)

And your father is a pharmacist, people say. Right.

[Speaker 2] (8:16 - 8:52)

And they are all familiar with my back pain, and I'm crying, and he's like, what do you think I should do? And they're like, take her to the emergency room. Like, this is, she's in debilitating pain.

She can't straighten up without screaming, take her. So he takes me to the emergency room. I go in to see the doctor.

I give the doctor sort of my, like, back pain history. He does a quick exam. I'm pretty sure they take me for x-rays.

Ultimately, the doctor gives me a shot of lidocaine. Lidocaine is like, in injectable forms, it can...

[Speaker 1] (8:52 - 8:57)

It's like a Tylenol or like an aspirin, except that it's...

[Speaker 2] (8:57 - 8:57)

More extreme.

[Speaker 1] (8:58 - 9:00)

Well, you can buy a topical. It's not necessarily...

[Speaker 2] (9:00 - 9:01)

Totally, totally.

[Speaker 1] (9:01 - 9:02)

But there's topical.

[Speaker 2] (9:02 - 9:04)

There's like a version for sunburn. You can spray.

[Speaker 1] (9:05 - 9:05)

Right.

[Speaker 2] (9:06 - 10:15)

But when it's injected, and it goes right into your bloodstream, it can immediately help relieve pain. It's systemic. Right.

And it did. So it, like, relaxed me enough to be able to lay in the bed, to be able to straighten out. David goes and calls my boyfriend at his temp job, and is like, you need to come to the hospital.

Like, your girlfriend's, you know, we don't know what we're going to find out here. So, you know, my boyfriend shows up, and I'm, you know, I'm much better than I was in the morning, but we're, like, waiting for the doctor to come in. He's doing his best to crack jokes and calm me down.

But I'm really worried, because at this point, like, I don't know what I'm going to be told. Do I have meningitis? Is there a tumor that's causing extreme pain?

My best friend, Mel, had had back surgery around the same time, and it had gotten botched, and she needed to, like, have another. She had to have all this physical therapy. Was this going to be my life?

What was I going to be told? Okay? I'm very dramatic, very concerned.

My boyfriend's holding my hand. The doctor comes in. And you know, like, they don't reveal anything on their face, especially in the ER.

[Speaker 1] (10:15 - 10:16)

Game face all the time.

[Speaker 2] (10:17 - 10:43)

Game face. The doctor comes in. He's not even making eye contact with me.

He's looking down at the clipboard. He's flipping through papers. He's, like, clicking at the x-rays.

He finally doesn't make eye contact with me. He makes eye contact with my boyfriend, as if to try to decide whether or not to deliver this potentially earth-shattering news in front of, you know, we're, like, 21. Like, a boy, right?

[Speaker 1] (10:43 - 10:44)

Like, 22.

[Speaker 2] (10:44 - 11:32)

Did I tell this boy? But he sees that we're holding hands, and I guess he, like, quickly decides they're close enough. I can give this information.

And he turns to me, and he finally looks me in the eye, and he says, Ellie, what you have is an extreme case of gas. And I said, what, what now? And he says, you have trapped gas.

Sometimes, if the fart, I'm sure he used better words. Sometimes, if the fart doesn't come out of your body, a big air bubble can be floating around, and it can, like, hit on nerves, and it can cause severe pain that starts in your abdomen and floats around to your back, and, like, this is a thing.

[Speaker 1] (11:32 - 11:54)

Well, let me clarify, because let me explain that a little bit. Okay, great. It doesn't float in your back.

Your intestines are all the way up here, right? You've got your diaphragm, your liver, all these organs. So your intestines, everything's, like, up here.

So I can see how, if your intestines are full of gas, you would feel like you have maybe some thoracic or lower lumbar pain. I could see that.

[Speaker 2] (11:54 - 12:04)

Well, and if you're talking about somebody who's starting from a baseline of already being so fucking tightly wound that since the age of 16, I've regularly...

[Speaker 1] (12:04 - 12:07)

You've had a gas problem your whole life?

[Speaker 2] (12:07 - 12:34)

No! That's not what any of that other stuff was. Okay.

That was stress. That was anxiety. That was something else.

But my body is already, like, a tight web of spasm-prone nerve pain, whatever. And now this gas bubble is here, and basically he's like, you know, go home, rub your belly in whatever direction they recommend, clockwise, counterclockwise. I don't know.

He's basically like, go home and fart, and you'll feel better. And my boyfriend is like...

[Speaker 1] (12:34 - 12:35)

Go fart it out.

[Speaker 2] (12:35 - 12:43)

You gotta fart it out. My boyfriend is like, his shoulders are shaking, like he's trying not to laugh in my face, but he's fucking laughing.

[Speaker 1] (12:43 - 12:44)

Is this the boyfriend I think it is?

[Speaker 2] (12:44 - 12:46)

Yes, but I'm not naming names on this podcast.

[Speaker 1] (12:46 - 12:48)

Right, but my God, I can see this happening. Yeah.

[Speaker 2] (12:48 - 13:39)

Yes, and, you know, all I can say is that I was not a shy person, but I'm guessing... I can't, like, put myself back there, but I'm guessing that moving to New York and being the only girl in a household with three boys, it's not like I was trying to be a pretty lady, but I probably wasn't farting as much as I needed to be farting because there was constantly someone around that I didn't want to fart in front of. So it was possibly, probably suppressing my gas and holding it in.

So this is like a public service announcement to, like, find a way to let your farts out so you don't end up doubled over in the emergency room with your roommate and your boyfriend laughing in your face and worrying your parents because... You think you're dying and you have a spinal tumor. Really, you need to let the farts be free.

Let the farts be free. So that was my diagnosis. I had gas.

[Speaker 1] (13:39 - 14:00)

You're welcome. Let me say something. Again, there are very few things that I don't know about you.

Not only have I never heard this story, which is, like, amazing, listeners, because I've heard all the stories, but I never knew about the back pain. I never knew about this inability to toot, toot, toot.

[Speaker 2] (14:01 - 14:17)

I mean, now, you know... Now you toot it up whenever. I'm home alone a lot, and I live in New York City, and New York City is the best farting city because it's loud and it already stinks.

You can walk throughout the city and crop dust, and no one is the wiser.

[Speaker 1] (14:18 - 14:42)

Like, the city might stink because of me. Listen, I doubt it. I think everybody's crop dusting, but I have a technique.

You know, this is what I do when I'm walking in the city, I mean, or anywhere, but particularly, even though I live in Jersey, I live in a very urban area of Jersey, and then I go into the city. So this is my technique. I'm, like, walking along, and I do this, and then I just let it be free.

[Speaker 2] (14:42 - 14:56)

Yeah, she's just looking left, she's looking right, seeing who's around her. I've gotten so fast and loose about it that I'll let out, like, a great big... I mean, sometimes not realize that someone was right behind me, and wonder if they heard, and then be like, eh, I'm 47, I don't care.

[Speaker 1] (14:56 - 15:21)

Maybe they did. Yeah. I don't care.

But you know, people... I'll just say, too, because I'm a Pilates instructor, like, people fart during sessions all the time, too. Like, when you're moving around, like, gas moves through the body, and sometimes it just happens.

And it's funny, because, like, I'm so used to it, because I'm just sort of like, oh, you know. What's always fun to me is to just see, like, how the client reacts. I, personally, I don't care.

I don't care.

[Speaker 2] (15:22 - 15:22)

Right.

[Speaker 1] (15:22 - 15:29)

The client will either call it out, or they'll just pretend it didn't happen. So in the moment, I'm always like...

[Speaker 2] (15:29 - 15:29)

And you have to take their lead.

[Speaker 1] (15:30 - 15:45)

No, but I'm like, what are they going to do? Are they going to call it out, or are they just going to pretend? Like, what are we doing?

Are we going to pretend it didn't happen, or are we going to, like, say a quick thing, and then, like, move on? Yeah. Men, traditionally, ignore, ignore, deny.

Women will be like, oh, ha! And then, like, we move on.

[Speaker 2] (15:46 - 15:51)

Interesting. Interesting. Yeah.

What's your story, Julia?

[Speaker 1] (15:51 - 15:58)

Is it when I don't know? It is when you don't know. Amazing.

It is when you don't know. My story is called Too Much Tuna.

[Speaker 2] (16:01 - 16:03)

I can't wait. Too Much Tuna.

[Speaker 1] (16:04 - 17:22)

Okay. So the year, I think this was, like, 2012, I had just met my now husband, and at the time was doing... Like, I was in a place in my life where, like, I had just moved into my studio apartment, like, probably six months ago.

I had gotten out of a tough relationship about a year or so ago. And I had gotten... Finally, like, financially, I had gotten myself into a place that was recovered from the breakup.

You know, I had... Was, like, work was kind of settled. Everything was, like, really good.

And my best friend was like, let's go have dinner. And normally, like, for so long, for, like, at least, like, the first year out of that breakup, like, I was so broke. Like, I was just paying my rent.

That's, like, all I could do at that time. I was also living in an apartment that was, like, a little bit too expensive. But when you're getting out of a relationship, you kind of...

You're just, like, I got to take this place. Do what you got to do. Because it's open.

I can get in. And, like, whatever. I feel safe.

I'll just do the apartment. So I was like, cool. Like, we're going to go to dinner.

I've got the money to do that. And I'm, like, looking cute. And it was, like, a gorgeous summer day.

And I go and I meet her for dinner. And we were doing, like... I wanted to say it was, like, Thai food.

I think it was Thai food. So I order... I don't remember what she got.

I ordered, like, a seared tuna, which is one of my most favorite things to eat, period. Like, a sesame crusted or something.

[Speaker 2] (17:22 - 17:22)

Yes.

[Speaker 1] (17:22 - 17:36)

And it was absolutely delicious. And so I'm eating it. Amanda was with me, my best friend.

She has a bite. You know, we're continuing to eat. And I'm eating and I'm eating.

And all of a sudden, I realize that my lips are getting fatter.

[Speaker 2] (17:37 - 17:38)

No.

[Speaker 1] (17:39 - 19:25)

And my tongue is kind of swelling. And I'm, like... I'm, like, what is happening?

Like, what's happening to me right now? What's happening to me right now? And I look at Amanda and I'm, like, do you...

Is something happening? And she's, like, yeah, you look, like, kind of weird. And at this point, we had finished the meal.

So I'm, like, I think I'm... Now, side... Let me just...

Side note here. So I used to work with this person who had a severe milk allergy. Now, this is really bizarre.

Now, his allergy was not to dairy, per se. Milk. To the extent that he always had to have an EpiPen with him at all times.

He cannot fly a commercial airline where they're serving coffee and they have dairy because it gets into the circulated air system and it will, like, get him... Wow. I mean, like, severe.

So in my mind at the moment, having talked to him many times about his reactions and what happens, I'm thinking to myself, I'm, like, I think I'm having, like, a severe allergic reaction to something that I've eaten. I don't know what. And I'm just, like, okay.

And I'm, like, okay, so let's just get some Benadryl. Just get me some Benadryl and we'll see what happens. Because something you should know about me, listeners, is that I am not an overreactor.

I am an underreactor, which is not good at a lot of times. So whereas Amanda is, she's not an overreactor. She's the right kind of reactor.

So she was a little bit like, I can't, like, let you just go home. Like, we need to figure this out. So we leave the restaurant.

I sit on the curb, okay? She runs across the street. There was, like, a Walgreens right there.

And she grabs some Benadryl and comes back. She gives me a bottle of water and some Benadryl. I take the Benadryl.

I drink the water. And I'm, like, okay, okay. And she's, like, well, do you want to go to the ER?

And I'm, like, I really don't want to go to the hospital. And you could breathe.

[Speaker 2] (19:25 - 19:26)

You could breathe.

[Speaker 1] (19:26 - 19:55)

Well, I could breathe. But I was beginning to get, I was afraid. You know, my worst fear was that I was going to go into some kind of anaphylactic shock.

Anaphylactic shock. Where I couldn't breathe. But I'm sitting there.

My heart is starting to race. And I'm, like, you know, listen, I just want to go home. Let's go back to my apartment and give it a little time and wait for the Benadryl to kick in.

And if I'm not feeling better, like, I'll go to the ER. You know, but I'm just, like, I don't, like, you know, nobody wants to go to the fucking hospital.

[Speaker 2] (19:55 - 19:56)

Especially in New York City.

[Speaker 1] (19:57 - 21:29)

Especially in New York City. And I lived uptown and, like, close to Columbia. And I just knew what was around the corner for that.

I was, like, I don't want to go. So, we go back to my apartment. And I'm sitting there.

And I'm not feeling better. My heart is starting to beat, like, really, really fast. And so that's, like, a bit alarming.

And Amanda's, like, I really think, you know, we should take you to the ER. And I'm, like, I don't want to go to the ER. I don't want to be there.

And she's, like, well, you know, is there somebody who can call? And I'm, like, oh, well, you know, on the back of my insurance card, I've got that, like, call a nurse number or whatever. And so I'm, like, okay, I'll call, like, this nurse or whatever.

So, I call the nurse practitioner, like, line. And she's, like, yeah, I think you're having a severe allergic reaction. And you could, it sounds like you're going into tachycardia.

You could have a heart attack. You need to go to the hospital. And I was, like, what?

So, I was, like, okay, I guess I'll call 911, which I did. Never called 911 in my whole life. And I never thought I'd have to go anywhere in an ambulance.

So, I'm sitting there in the living room of, well, the living room, my bedroom, which is also my living room in my tiny studio apartment. And I live in the upper 100s at this time. And my block is not the best-looking block.

But I happen to have, like, a really nice apartment in that I made it nice. You know, like one of those kinds of situations. You know how New York is.

Explain to the listeners. It's, like, the facade may not be great. You walk inside.

You may not have a lot to work with. But all you need is, like, a little bit of paint and a nice shower curtain. And you turn it into something nice.

[Speaker 2] (21:30 - 21:31)

You never know what's behind a door.

[Speaker 1] (21:31 - 21:59)

Right. And I had really made this studio apartment, like, really beautiful. And I loved it a lot.

So, I call 911. The paramedics get there. And also, I'm on a four-floor walk-up, by the way.

So, they come in through the door. And the first guy comes in. The second guy comes in.

And he just stands in the doorway. And he looks around. And he's, like, oh, it's a really nice apartment.

How much do you pay for this? Oh, my God. You're dying.

[Speaker 2] (22:00 - 22:01)

You're tachycardian.

[Speaker 1] (22:01 - 22:10)

And I'm, like, fucking dying here. How much do you pay for this? I'm, like, so fucking New York.

Are you kidding me? And I just looked at him. And I was just, like, I'm not going to tell you that.

He was joking.

[Speaker 2] (22:11 - 22:12)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But still.

[Speaker 1] (22:12 - 22:14)

Also, attend to me, sir.

[Speaker 2] (22:14 - 22:14)

Attend to me, sir. Yeah.

[Speaker 1] (22:15 - 22:34)

So, he comes in. He kneels down. And he was, like, have you been out in the sun?

And I was, like, no. Why? And I get up and I go into the bathroom.

And I look in the mirror. And I am red. Okay.

From head to toe. Like, bright red. Like, I have a sunburn.

[Speaker 2] (22:34 - 22:34)

Yes.

[Speaker 1] (22:34 - 23:01)

And I was, like, oh, I guess this is just my color now. I was, like, no, I haven't been in the sun. I guess this is just what I look like.

And he's, like, okay. And he takes my heartbeat. And he's, like, all right.

Well, we definitely should, like, take you to the ER. And I was, like, I am not going in a stretcher. I will walk down.

I was, like, you're not taking me out in a stretcher. So I climb into the ambulance. And I'm, like, sitting there just kind of, like, do-do-do.

Like, and we're riding to the hospital, you know. And we get there. And it's crowded.

[Speaker 2] (23:02 - 23:02)

Sure.

[Speaker 1] (23:03 - 24:38)

Right. But they put me in, like, a little room. And, you know, with a curtain or whatever.

And I'm just waiting. And Amanda was so good. Like, and this was, by the way.

I mean, 2012, yes, we had smartphones. But we really didn't have, like, all the bells and whistles like we do now. So you weren't, like, sitting there, like, scrolling through and looking at things.

There really, like, wasn't that much to do. So we just kind of sat there in silence because I started to get so fucked up. I proceeded to get this, like, terrible, like, migraine.

Like, think of your worst migraine headache that you have ever had. That's what started to happen. So I'm bright red.

I'm getting really kind of warm. I'm swollen. And I have this terrible headache.

And all I can do is kind of, like, lay there. And the doctor comes in and she sees me. And she checks me out.

And then, like, leaves. Nobody tells me what's going on. And I'm just, like, can I just, can somebody just get me a fucking Tylenol?

I was, like, all I want is something for this headache. Like, you don't have to give me anything else. Just give me something for this headache.

And I'm laying there and I'm waiting and waiting. We must have been there for, like, two hours. I'm not even kidding.

Two hours, probably. Finally, the doctor comes in. And she's, like, and this is, like, an hour later, by the way.

She comes in and she's, like, yeah. She's, like, so you have food poisoning. And I'm, like, what?

And she's, like, you have something called scromboid food poisoning. And I'm, like, what? What is that?

And she was, like, it's just food poisoning. Like, she wouldn't tell me. And you know me, I'm very inquisitive.

So I'm, like, well, what the fuck is this? Like, how did you get it? What is it?

And she's, like, well, you get it from fish.

[Speaker 2] (24:38 - 24:41)

And I'm, like, are you kidding me?

[Speaker 1] (24:41 - 25:13)

And it's acute. It's acute. So I was, like, well, I want to know more about it.

Can you tell me more about it? And she couldn't. And she was really pissy about it.

So she leaves. So she's, like, I'm going to get you some medication. And then we'll get you checked out.

One hour later. I'm not even fucking kidding. All I need is medication so that I can go.

So it's a whole other hour later. I've now been there for two hours just waiting for medication. She comes back in.

She hands me a little, you know, like a medication cup with Pepsid AC. No. And a steroid, like prednisone.

[Speaker 2] (25:13 - 25:15)

Yeah, to take the swelling. Right.

[Speaker 1] (25:15 - 26:10)

Yeah, a steroid, Pepsid AC, and a Wikipedia printout. No. With rhomboid food poisoning.

I won't. I won't with the Wikipedia. I know.

And so she's, like, all right, you've got to take the meds. And I'm, like, can I take the meds and, like, leave? Or do I need to, like, sit here?

And she's, like, well, we need to, like, observe you for another, like, I don't know, 20, 30 minutes, whatever. I take the medication. I was right as rain within, like, 15 minutes.

Like, nothing had ever happened. I was, like, are you fucking kidding me? So took the pills, reading the Wikipedia.

So it turns out it's some kind of, like, bacterial thing. It's, like, I think from what I should have, like, looked this up before the episode. But I think it's, like, particular to tuna.

But I could be wrong. But it is. It's with fish.

And it has this, like, you know it's contaminated because it has this very, like, sharp peppery taste, which it had. But I was, like, oh, this is so flavorful.

[Speaker 2] (26:10 - 26:11)

This is delicious.

[Speaker 1] (26:11 - 26:41)

Yum, yum, yum, yum, you know? I love bacteria. I love bacteria, you know?

And so, like, if you eat super peppery tuna and it has a bite at the end, you should be aware it could be scromboid infected. But, yeah. So then I took the thing.

I did whatever. Amanda, God bless her, like, you know, got in a cab and went home. She was, like, you're going to be okay.

And I'm, like, I'm, like, totally fine. I literally walked from the hospital home because I'm, like, I'm not paying for another cab tonight. And it was, like, 12, 13 blocks because, you know, you're a New Yorker.

[Speaker 2] (26:41 - 26:42)

You just walk. Yes.

[Speaker 1] (26:42 - 26:45)

And I was, like, well, I'm fine now. I was home by midnight, back to work the next day.

[Speaker 2] (26:46 - 26:52)

You never threw up. You never had diarrhea. No.

You just had the food poisoning manifested as, like, a crazy allergic reaction.

[Speaker 1] (26:53 - 26:55)

Yeah. Severe sunburn.

[Speaker 2] (26:56 - 27:02)

I've had that with allergies, like a full-body sunburn from a medical allergy.

[Speaker 1] (27:02 - 27:03)

I mean, head, like, bright red.

[Speaker 2] (27:03 - 27:17)

I looked in the mirror and I was, like, what is happening? You look like you're on fire. Yeah.

Julia. Ellie. The main question here that I think we all want to know is, did it turn you off tuna forever?

You know, that's a really good question.

[Speaker 1] (27:17 - 28:09)

I was thinking about that. It kind of did because. Did it?

Yeah, well. I don't blame you. I know.

It used to be my most favorite thing. Like, if it's on the menu, that's what I'm getting. Now I don't even eat, like, raw tuna sushi, which also used to be my favorite thing.

I'm very, very skeptical at a restaurant, even a nice, like a super nice, nice, nice place, just because it's so, like, oh, because I called the restaurant the next day and I was, like, hi. Yeah, like, I was in the ER because I had food poisoning. You served me tuna that was, you know, that was bad, you know.

You served me scramboid tuna. You served me bad tuna. You served me bad tuna.

And they argued with me. They were, like, well, we'll have you come in for another meal. I was, like, absolutely not.

Not the point, you fucking twit. Yeah. Wait, check your stock.

Check your shit. So, yeah, I'm a little skeptical.

[Speaker 2] (28:10 - 28:11)

I didn't know that story.

[Speaker 1] (28:12 - 28:18)

Yeah. How much you pay for that? How much you pay for this apartment?

How much you pay for this? How much you pay?

[Speaker 2] (28:18 - 28:19)

How much you pay?

[Speaker 1] (28:19 - 28:25)

So, New York, how much you pay for this place? How much did you pay, Julia? Not much.

Okay. I won't say.

[Speaker 2] (28:25 - 28:28)

I'll tell you up there. I think I remember.

[Speaker 1] (28:28 - 28:29)

A really good price.

[Speaker 2] (28:30 - 28:30)

Yeah.

[Speaker 1] (28:31 - 28:33)

And especially in the market that we have today, yeah.

[Speaker 2] (28:34 - 29:00)

Well, you know, we haven't said, for those of you who are coming to us for the first time, that Julia and I have known each other since we were 17 and 18. So, the fact that in all this time and this long friendship, we just learned so much about each other that we didn't know. I'm excited to continue this journey with you and continue to learn things about you and your body and your parts and your reactions that I heretofore was not aware of.

[Speaker 1] (29:01 - 29:06)

Heretofore, yeah. Do you want to tell people a little bit more about what to expect? Yes.

[Speaker 2] (29:06 - 29:23)

Yes. If you liked what you heard and you want to hear more stories from people like, we've got Kevin Allison of The State. We've got Ophira Eisenberg of NPR's Ask Me Another.

We've got Dionne Flynn from The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Be sure to like, subscribe, and share this podcast with anyone and everyone.

[Speaker 1] (29:24 - 29:40)

And if you like to watch your podcasts, all of our episodes are watchable on YouTube. So, if you were a fan of our previous podcast, we were not on YouTube. Now, we're on YouTube.

Our channel is OpenUpAndSayHi, and on all of our socials, OpenUpAndSayHi. You can find us everywhere, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, you know, all the places.

[Speaker 2] (29:41 - 29:59)

All the places. And finally, if you have a funny story about a medical encounter or a bodily function gone awry, email us, OpenUpAndSayHi at gmail.com. We love everything that comes out of you, and we think you should share all of those things with the world.

Yeah. Or DM us.